Sounds Interesting, Then Again, No

As I mentioned in my last post, our management team is in the process of a major restructuring that included two openings in program/finance slots. If you're surprised that I threw my name in the hat to fill one of the slots, well, no one here was. I did end up with the last comment on it when I pulled my name from contention.

Why did I do that? Interesting question, really. I was the first to get an interview set and was sent the job description and supporting information and spent several days with little sleep at night going over the idea and felt that it was worth pursuing. Wednesday morning I interviewed with Ed and got about halfway through the interview when I realized that things just didn't feel right. When my gut talks, I try to listen. After the interview concluded I had an agonizing mental debate while driving through the rolling brown hills of December in Wisconsin. Why didn't this feel right? Before making a final decision to withdraw my name, I talked with my mom, Eric and Brian and was greatly appreciative of their support in my decision to do so. Without going into huge detail on the fine points, I decided that it was not right on several points both personal and professional. On the personal side, I have been getting myself on a better track with how I spend my resources and recognized several potential places to meet people outside of work--my greatest disappointment in living here is not having any new friends outside of the workplace. On the professional side I realized that my work isn't done. While we will make Quality District officially by Friday, it will be by the skin of our teeth and with some considerations by the chief. Not being immodest, this train was not likely to stay on track if I left conducting it now. I have the utmost faith in Brian and my key leaders, but I have not given them enough tools to carry on just yet. With those and several other items in mind, I realized I am not done in this duty yet. I also realized that I don't want my next job to be one where I don't work with managing a team again. While Brian is the extent of my paid team here, I feel more fulfilled helping someone else achieve their professional potential than just about anything else. I've decided I want my supervisors job when she is up for promotion in a year and told her so.

One upside of this was realizing that others agreed with this assessment especially when I let them know what I decided and there was a sigh of relief. In the last week the most profound comment I felt was in my Christmas card from Brian thanking me for the leadership I have provided this year. I've said before that I don't always need recognition, but that comment came at about the best time it could have. I realized that I have not done all I can do here and want to spend the next year doing just that and also sowing what we've reaped over the last two years. Over the holidays I need to assess in some detail where I feel we are and where we are going and hit the new year charging forward.

Before I go, here's the other events of the week:

• Lost my bid for the playoffs in my fantasy league to Brian. My WR and RB corps let me down again and even Brees' stellar performance couldn't rescue the week. We did cause some gnashing of teeth when I dropped Brees and Brian picked him up with the idea that it would give him a better chance and winning the whole thing in a come-from-behind season (he's entering the playoffs with a 6-7-1 record).
• Worked two more Toys for Tots events. I didn't help people shop at either, instead it was like giving a used-car salesman spiel while families walked in. I think it was worth it and it certainly helps families and the council. One side product was getting to know Nate, our recently returned Reservist from the district south of me, better after working with him for 8 hours between the two events. With him on board, the south team is at full strength and it's with good people.
• Wished Nick from our staff farewell as he returns to Sioux Falls for a new job. That adds a new stop on the westward bound route for this summer.
• Saw "We Are Marshall" in the smallest theater I've been in in a long time. I think my living room is larger (no joke). It was on one of the screens nationally showing it as a sneak preview. The movie itself was good. I had tears in my eyes at several points in the film. I'd call it worth seeing.

I'll be back to MI late on Friday the 22nd, but I will be leaving again on the 27th to return to WI. On the 28th I'm taking Brian and his wife to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra as their Christmas gift for this year. I'm pumped about seeing them again.

Until I write again.