Friend

In an earlier post I wondered whether or not the word home was too vague a concept. Now I ask if friend falls into the same category. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as "1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem" and "4 : a favored companion". That certainly is a broad brush of a definition but doesn't even begin to cover it.

We all have a variety of folks we know that can be broadly grouped into the category of "friend" who all mean different things to us. I think about it and there are several groups that come to mind. The first are my "brothers", mostly the OA guys that I know well. There have also been "work friends" who I got along with and hung out with while I worked with them but then failed to keep in touch. In a similar category are those "school friends" like the clan I hung out with while in high school or college that I spent a lot of time with but didn't keep in touch with. Then there are "friends of convenience", folks to hang out with because they are there and there is a bit more of a tie than an acquaintance.

That really only gives a short list of the various ways I think of "friends". I think that all the categories sound a little weak and really deserve words of their own. Perhaps it's the engineer in me that likes everything to have a place and stay in it with its own title. However, when I introduce someone as a friend that's awful vague and can, in some instances, lead to misunderstanding. If I am with a brother and confrontation should occur, I stand beside them whether or not I agree with them whereas someone from another category might not receive the same consideration. Conversely, someone who is not a friend may receive similar treatment if I feel it to be my duty to stand up for them as happened with my staff at the theater.

What has brought this to mind lately has been working with Brian. There is no question that he reports to me for work. At the same time though I value him as more than an employee. The hard part is reconciling having a friend be an employee. To this point nothing has come up that required me to get really upset with him or have to pass on ill tidings and I don't know that it will happen. What would suck is being in that situation. I don't want to end up in it but I also know that it could happen. I suppose in the end I'll deal with what comes up and I don't really need to dwell on it but that doesn't mean I won't.

So should we have more words and concepts for "friend" or would it devalue the relationship to quantify it?