Bye, Rose

Yesterday a dear friend passed on. My dad took my dog Rose and had her put to sleep. She was about 14 years old which is a great run for a dog. Despite her age she kept up well with Buddy, my brother's new dog right up until the end and she outlived her partner Snickers who grew up with her. This last weekend she stopped eating or drinking, couldn't go up or down the stairs and had trouble even walking.

We grew up together. I was in middle school when I got her and she was there by my side all the way through high school and college, a quiet friend who loved me unconditionally no matter what happened. Obedience school was as much about me bonding with her as her learning to obey. Her extended puppyhood adventures of escaping the yard through tunnels or climbing the fence almost convinced us to send her to another home, but she and we persevered and she became a fixture in the family.

Despite the fact that I haven't lived with her for about 3 1/2 years it's still hard to think about her being gone. In a way I'm glad I didn't see the end so my last memory will be of her at my feet when I was home this summer. Going home at Thanksgiving and not having her greet me at the door will bring it home even more than hearing about it from my folks. I also feel bad for my parents, especially my dad. Since I moved out, he became her surrogate master. Despite how much he has grumbled over the years about not liking the dogs, everyone knows he loves them. I know it was hard for him to see her fail at the end and have to take her in with my mom out of town and not there to support him. He's not the most outwardly emotional guy, but when he said he cried when they put her down, it was really hard to keep from crying on the phone with him.

As I type its hard to not break down and cry hard over it. I've been blessed in my life to not lose anyone really close to me so having it happen even at a distance hurts more than I thought it would even knowing that it was inevitable and bound to happen sooner rather than later. The hardest part is the whole "guy thing" of trying not to be emotional about it even though it's perfectly human. I slept really badly last night after my dad called to tell me about it. Every time I would drift off I would think about her or I would think of what my dad went through seeing the end. This morning I talked briefly about it with Brian who's dogs are he and his wife's kids and I found that I couldn't say much with being on the verge of tears. Tears are not something I was willing to do in public and would be uncomfortable doing with an employee who is also a friend.

Good Bye, Rose. You were a good dog, my dog and my friend, and I will miss you dearly.